"Dear Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Niall Horan and Harry Styles,
Hey guys. It’s Joey Fatone, former member of NSync and current announcer on Family Feud, the job I’ve always dreamed of. This weekend, while sitting on the toilet and crying (I LOVE MY LIFE!!!) I flipped through my iPhone and saw that you’d announced a “one-year hiatus” beginning in March. I just wanted to congratulate you guys and wish you well! I’m sure 2016 will be a wonderful time for everyone from One Direction to pursue some independent projects before regrouping as a stronger band one year later! Here’s to spreading your wings!
Here’s how it’s gonna go down, fellas. While you’re all on hiatus, Harry will record some dope singles with Beyonce, Ryan Adams and Wiz Khalifa, come out with a killer solo album produced by Pharrell and Timbaland, cut his hair, dye his hair, do a second less awesome album, let his hair grow super long and wear it in two braids, crush a self-effacing cameo in a Judd Apatow movie, buzz his hair and release a third, self-produced album on which he hints at being bisexual that everyone will call his “best work.”
The rest of you are f****d. I mean f****d. I am the second most-successful former member of NSync and I am Joey Fatone. Say that outloud to yourself: “Besides Justin Timberlake, Joey Fatone is the most successful member of NSync.”
Here’s me being a spokesman for Bosley hair restoration last year:
Best case scenario, you’ll do a 6-week stint in Minions: The Musical! on Broadway before you bounce around different hosting jobs on channels like Spike and TruTv. Do you know what Chris Kirkpatrick is doing? Because I don’t. He’s completely unreachable. He might be managing a Best Buy in Sacramento, he might be dead. No one knows. Louis, I’m looking at you.
There is one exception: If one of you is gay you might have a shot. Wait till One Direction has been dead for two years, kiss your hot boyfriend at an awards show, then ride that relevance like a beautiful boner and pray to God you get a show on Bravo.
It’s not that you guys aren’t talented, it’s that Harry is so, so much cuter, cooler and more talented than the rest of you. Deep down, you’ve always known that, but you will never truly understand it until you’re in your grimy little condo, sitting in your boxers, sucking a chow mein noodle off your Playstation controller and watching Harry blow it up on SNL.
Jesus Christ I wish I was still in NSync. Jesus…JESUS F***! I would give all my hair to go back to that.
Anyway, enjoy the next few months, One Direction, because they’re your last."
Hey it's Karli or as some call me, the World Famous Karli Brooks! If you're wondering what makes me World Famous, it could be one of many things:
- My amazing ability of doing "The Wobble"
- The fact that I can melt your face with my stone sober karaoke "skills"
- Or all of my amazing Snap Chats that I send daily
It could be one, or all of the above!
Anyways, I love my job at KISS FM! Not only am I on-air from 9 am - 2 pm, I am also the Promotions Coordinator. I started my journey at KISS as an intern and apparently I impressed the boss man so much that he just had to hire me! I graduated from UWGB in 2011 with a Bachelors Degree in Communication and a Spanish minor.
I was born and raised in Appleton and am still currently living there. I thoroughly enjoy sporting events ESPECIALLY Brewers games! Miller Park is my second home in the summer! I also enjoy bar tending. I have a part time job at Houdini's Escape Gastropub in Appleton [come visit - I muddle a MEAN Old Fashion!]
Some random facts about me: My favorite animal is a penguin. My all-time favorite movie is Titanic. I have a fat orange cat who looks like Garfield. I've never had a cavity. I HATE spiders. I love House music. I love to dance. I was a gymnast in my previous life.
You now know everything relevant about my life! I hope you'll sleep better at night with all this information.
95.9 KISS FM (WKSZ) is a Top 40 radio station licensed to De Pere, Wisconsin that serves Green Bay, Appleton and The Fox Cities. The station is owned by Woodward Communications.
You'll find great artists like Iggy Azalea, Maroon 5, Katy Perry, Pitbull, Taylor Swift, Jason Derulo, Rihanna and others.
The KISS Nation Morning Show starts your day from 5am-9am. Karli Brooks is on from 9am-2pm, Joe Marroe drives you home from 2pm-6pm. Then it's "The Ladies Room" with Heather Storm from 6-11pm. All of the hits, one place!
Green Bay: 920-271-0959
Toll Free: 1-866-916-0959